i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
