You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize