That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
