Non-Jews are for practice
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
