Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
