I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
