Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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