Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
