? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
please come you make the beer taste better
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
