You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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