Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
