I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found puke in my bra..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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