Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
