is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
