Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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