i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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