I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
