my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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