man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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