im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
