I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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