At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize