you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
