Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
