His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
