i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize