Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
high people should be assigned attendants
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize