We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize