Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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