question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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