I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
