I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
