i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
