They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
