I think im going to throw up on grandma
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
