I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
