My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
