yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
