I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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