Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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