apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize