So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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