I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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