dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize