Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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