Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
