I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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