he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize