yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
