We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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