I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
