if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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