I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
