the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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