NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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