Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
