Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
