I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
