okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
