Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
