PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
