i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do vagina's smell?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh god it's open bar.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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