"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
