did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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