i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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