More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
